a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Someone came in the potted fern
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
