How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
