Where is the hickey?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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