is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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