dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
