Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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