So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
