yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
