oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
