The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
