Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
