I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
