he wants to bone in the snuggie
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
