that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
