you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
