I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
