You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
this just has baby written all over it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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