I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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