And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
