Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
