I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
