no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
