like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize