It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
