also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize