i need an iv and a liver transplant
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
