I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
