If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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