I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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