do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
