One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
