Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize