Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
