I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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