guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize