Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm sobbing to NWA
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
