yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
