Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
