I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
