Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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