i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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