i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
