gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
