Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
