the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
