That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We left an ass print on the piano.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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