Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I love having hate sex.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
