remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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