I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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