please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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