So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize