Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
