I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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