Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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