ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
