you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
