what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
