so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
