At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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