It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
