Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
