he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
