O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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