is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
