It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
