her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
