OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
not ubering you a puppy
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
