we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
