Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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