What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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