Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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