have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
