There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
