the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
this will be a night to untag.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
