think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
