He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize