While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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