I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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