Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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