it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
