I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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